I could be wrong, but I'm guessing the majority of us have horror stories from childhood. I doubt that any of us escaped childhood without scars from some sort of dysfunction. I'll won't go into details, just say that I endured abuse.
My father has always been an alcoholic. Rather than being angry with him, I felt a bit sorry for him. He is a good father to the extent that he can be. He taught us some good values. But, his addiction and relative lack of social skills led him to be distant, unreliable and angry. My mother was perpetually depressed about the whole family situation, and was therefore not very emotionally present herself. As the oldest of 6 children, I felt responsible for everyone's happiness and well-being. I'm not looking for sympathy. Actually, I am grateful for my trials and the empathy and determination they have given me. I won't deny that my childhood left me with scars, however.
I ruined my first marriage because of my lack of trust and self-love. I had sworn that I would never bring children into this life to endure unhappy parents and divorce, and yet found myself in that very situation. The pain of it almost killed me, but I emerged ready to learn and change.
Although healing is a lifelong process, I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. Opposing statistics on marriages, my second marriage is really good. I believe this is because I took a good hard look at what I needed to change, and how to work through my ego and get to my true self.
I have always been aware of my deep-seated insecurities. I felt unlovable and insignificant. Though I knew there must be a better way and that I was meant to feel joy, I couldn't find tactile answers. I looked to my religion, and was open to any new teaching or method that didn't conflict with my beliefs.
If I were to share each of the things I have found to help me, I would have to write a book (maybe someday). Yoga, meditation, service, endurance athletic events, a business that helps me reach goals in every area, and loving 8 great children unconditionally have been helpful in my healing journey. My business which has to do with the Law of Attraction has taught me a lot about finding joy. Sometimes I wonder why I hadn't heard of these principles earlier. Maybe I wasn't really ready to implement them. It's interesting how life gives you things when it does.
The bottom-line in actually changing my MIND -that is all of those deeply ingrained inhibiting beliefs was quite simply gratitude and the decision to be happy. Yes, it sounds simple and it is. Why is that so hard for so many to find and grasp then? I think it is just that we think we are going to get something out of being miserable. Like, sympathy or revenge. We don't want to let our abusers off the hook. Well, guess what? WE weren't the ones who put them there, and we cant take them off. They'll have to do that for themselves. And, we think that healing takes so much time and effort. It really just takes a decision.
Gratitude. Yes, we can all be grateful for something on any given day, and probably in any given hour. If you start feeling sorry for yourself again, think of the approximately 5 billion people in this world right now that you wouldn't trade places with!
You are a human being, not a human DOING. So, stop trying to do things to make yourself feel better. Just BE. We learned more about what this means when visiting Ethiopia to get our two youngest children. In the face of poor living conditions, lack of food, and an orphan epidemic due to AIDS, most people were happy. They had discovered through tough circumstance that it is not circumstance that determines happiness, it is your mindset (or soulset), and a decision to be happy.
This may sound as though I am judging anyone who has gone through horrible circumstances and is lost in depression or self-destruction. Remember I have been there. I know the pain. I know the necessary work to heal. My only hope is to help someone get there faster than me. Lets all stop wasting time and start living life the way it was meant. "Men are that they might have joy. - 14130
My father has always been an alcoholic. Rather than being angry with him, I felt a bit sorry for him. He is a good father to the extent that he can be. He taught us some good values. But, his addiction and relative lack of social skills led him to be distant, unreliable and angry. My mother was perpetually depressed about the whole family situation, and was therefore not very emotionally present herself. As the oldest of 6 children, I felt responsible for everyone's happiness and well-being. I'm not looking for sympathy. Actually, I am grateful for my trials and the empathy and determination they have given me. I won't deny that my childhood left me with scars, however.
I ruined my first marriage because of my lack of trust and self-love. I had sworn that I would never bring children into this life to endure unhappy parents and divorce, and yet found myself in that very situation. The pain of it almost killed me, but I emerged ready to learn and change.
Although healing is a lifelong process, I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. Opposing statistics on marriages, my second marriage is really good. I believe this is because I took a good hard look at what I needed to change, and how to work through my ego and get to my true self.
I have always been aware of my deep-seated insecurities. I felt unlovable and insignificant. Though I knew there must be a better way and that I was meant to feel joy, I couldn't find tactile answers. I looked to my religion, and was open to any new teaching or method that didn't conflict with my beliefs.
If I were to share each of the things I have found to help me, I would have to write a book (maybe someday). Yoga, meditation, service, endurance athletic events, a business that helps me reach goals in every area, and loving 8 great children unconditionally have been helpful in my healing journey. My business which has to do with the Law of Attraction has taught me a lot about finding joy. Sometimes I wonder why I hadn't heard of these principles earlier. Maybe I wasn't really ready to implement them. It's interesting how life gives you things when it does.
The bottom-line in actually changing my MIND -that is all of those deeply ingrained inhibiting beliefs was quite simply gratitude and the decision to be happy. Yes, it sounds simple and it is. Why is that so hard for so many to find and grasp then? I think it is just that we think we are going to get something out of being miserable. Like, sympathy or revenge. We don't want to let our abusers off the hook. Well, guess what? WE weren't the ones who put them there, and we cant take them off. They'll have to do that for themselves. And, we think that healing takes so much time and effort. It really just takes a decision.
Gratitude. Yes, we can all be grateful for something on any given day, and probably in any given hour. If you start feeling sorry for yourself again, think of the approximately 5 billion people in this world right now that you wouldn't trade places with!
You are a human being, not a human DOING. So, stop trying to do things to make yourself feel better. Just BE. We learned more about what this means when visiting Ethiopia to get our two youngest children. In the face of poor living conditions, lack of food, and an orphan epidemic due to AIDS, most people were happy. They had discovered through tough circumstance that it is not circumstance that determines happiness, it is your mindset (or soulset), and a decision to be happy.
This may sound as though I am judging anyone who has gone through horrible circumstances and is lost in depression or self-destruction. Remember I have been there. I know the pain. I know the necessary work to heal. My only hope is to help someone get there faster than me. Lets all stop wasting time and start living life the way it was meant. "Men are that they might have joy. - 14130
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