I endured abuse as a child. I'm sure most people today have some scars from some sort of dysfunction in their early family life. My purpose here is not to tell horror stories, but I will tell you about how it has affected my life.
My father has always been an alcoholic. Rather than being angry with him, I felt a bit sorry for him. He is a good father to the extent that he can be. He taught us some good values. But, his addiction and relative lack of social skills led him to be distant, unreliable and angry. My mother was perpetually depressed about the whole family situation, and was therefore not very emotionally present herself. As the oldest of 6 children, I felt responsible for everyone's happiness and well-being. I'm not looking for sympathy. Actually, I am grateful for my trials and the empathy and determination they have given me. I won't deny that my childhood left me with scars, however.
I ruined my first marriage because of my lack of trust and self-love. I had sworn that I would never bring children into this life to endure unhappy parents and divorce, and yet found myself in that very situation. The pain of it almost killed me, but I emerged ready to learn and change.
This changing will be a lifelong process, but I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears (except for what my family members are putting themselves through now). My second marriage is for the most part really good, but only because I can quickly recognize when the demons of my past are acting as opposed to my true self and work through it.
Although I have always recognized my severe insecurities of being less-than or unlovable, I had no idea how to actually change them. I turned to my Christian beliefs first. Trusting in Christ while also being open to new teachings and methodology that aligned with my beliefs offered hope.
It's funny how life throws things your way at just the right time. I had found yoga, meditation, service, loving 8 kids unconditionally, and endurance events helpful. But it wasn't until I learned and applied the principles of the Law of Attraction in my business that so many of my fears and limitations were lifted.
The bottom-line in actually changing my MIND -that is all of those deeply ingrained inhibiting beliefs was quite simply gratitude and the decision to be happy. Yes, it sounds simple and it is. Why is that so hard for so many to find and grasp then? I think it is just that we think we are going to get something out of being miserable. Like, sympathy or revenge. We don't want to let our abusers off the hook. Well, guess what? WE weren't the ones who put them there, and we cant take them off. They'll have to do that for themselves. And, we think that healing takes so much time and effort. It really just takes a decision.
Think of the 5 billion people who share this planet who you wouldn't want to trade places with? Gratitude! I would dare say that in any given hour of your day there is somethin to be grateful for.
Happiness. Lest you think it is not a choice, visit a third world country. We traveled to Ethiopia to adopt our two youngest children. Most people there were lucky to have a tin shed or a mud hut to live in, were facing rampant cases of AIDS all around them, had no medical care, millions of orphans, and very little food. And yet, most that we came in contact with were extremely happy. They had discovered what we in America may not ever. We are human BEINGS not human DOINGS. The things you do don't and never will define you . Just be, and decide to be happy. Smile. Don't even think outside of the box. How about outside of yourself?
I don't want to sound as if I am judging anyone who is lost in depression for whatever reason. I have been there. I know that healing sometimes takes time and work. My hope is to get even one person there faster than me. Time is wasting. Start living life the way God intended. "Men are that they might have joy - 14130
My father has always been an alcoholic. Rather than being angry with him, I felt a bit sorry for him. He is a good father to the extent that he can be. He taught us some good values. But, his addiction and relative lack of social skills led him to be distant, unreliable and angry. My mother was perpetually depressed about the whole family situation, and was therefore not very emotionally present herself. As the oldest of 6 children, I felt responsible for everyone's happiness and well-being. I'm not looking for sympathy. Actually, I am grateful for my trials and the empathy and determination they have given me. I won't deny that my childhood left me with scars, however.
I ruined my first marriage because of my lack of trust and self-love. I had sworn that I would never bring children into this life to endure unhappy parents and divorce, and yet found myself in that very situation. The pain of it almost killed me, but I emerged ready to learn and change.
This changing will be a lifelong process, but I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears (except for what my family members are putting themselves through now). My second marriage is for the most part really good, but only because I can quickly recognize when the demons of my past are acting as opposed to my true self and work through it.
Although I have always recognized my severe insecurities of being less-than or unlovable, I had no idea how to actually change them. I turned to my Christian beliefs first. Trusting in Christ while also being open to new teachings and methodology that aligned with my beliefs offered hope.
It's funny how life throws things your way at just the right time. I had found yoga, meditation, service, loving 8 kids unconditionally, and endurance events helpful. But it wasn't until I learned and applied the principles of the Law of Attraction in my business that so many of my fears and limitations were lifted.
The bottom-line in actually changing my MIND -that is all of those deeply ingrained inhibiting beliefs was quite simply gratitude and the decision to be happy. Yes, it sounds simple and it is. Why is that so hard for so many to find and grasp then? I think it is just that we think we are going to get something out of being miserable. Like, sympathy or revenge. We don't want to let our abusers off the hook. Well, guess what? WE weren't the ones who put them there, and we cant take them off. They'll have to do that for themselves. And, we think that healing takes so much time and effort. It really just takes a decision.
Think of the 5 billion people who share this planet who you wouldn't want to trade places with? Gratitude! I would dare say that in any given hour of your day there is somethin to be grateful for.
Happiness. Lest you think it is not a choice, visit a third world country. We traveled to Ethiopia to adopt our two youngest children. Most people there were lucky to have a tin shed or a mud hut to live in, were facing rampant cases of AIDS all around them, had no medical care, millions of orphans, and very little food. And yet, most that we came in contact with were extremely happy. They had discovered what we in America may not ever. We are human BEINGS not human DOINGS. The things you do don't and never will define you . Just be, and decide to be happy. Smile. Don't even think outside of the box. How about outside of yourself?
I don't want to sound as if I am judging anyone who is lost in depression for whatever reason. I have been there. I know that healing sometimes takes time and work. My hope is to get even one person there faster than me. Time is wasting. Start living life the way God intended. "Men are that they might have joy - 14130
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